Last night Husband and I watched the 2 HOUR Season Premeire of The Hills: seriously that's all we did, seriously

Actually the season premiere was only an hour, but they fooled you by making you think it was two hours so that you'd tune in and watch the first HOUR which recapped the end of last season and/or made you sit through these uncomfortable moments with The Hills Girls (who cannot for the life of them introduce segments and/or read teleprompters) talking about how excited they are (though, they don't really seem to be).

But we did it, we made it through and the whole time I was thinking:

What the f (PG-13 people, 10 year olds watch The Hills) happened to Heidi's face?

No seriously, I'm not saying that in some "oh my God you ugly" kind of way, I'm saying WHAT THE F' HAPPENED TO HEIDI'S FACE?! It's a completely different face. We're supposed to believe that her (by the end of the episode) ex-fiance/boyfriend/Svengali Spencer shows up to Colorado "a little while later" to find out "what's up" and his woman has a WHOLE NEW FACE and he doesn't notice?!

"I came to see what's going on Heidi, cause you left all huffy about the whole wedding thing and you told me you needed space so I showed up to invade your private life in Colorado and, HOLY CRAP WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?!"

She definitely got new lips, I think her nose is different (again), and there is just something, off, just slightly...

And this is my big beef with a show that probably doesn't deserve the time it takes to beef about it: their non acknowledgement of their world. Meaning, if you got a brand new face, god damn it somebody better say something about it (even behind your back, why oh why doesn't Audrina ever just do a little "Did you see US Magazine, man what's up with Heidi's face?!). Gee, we're photgraphed by paparazzi, what's that like? We're sitting VIP at a club while all the minions are down on the floor, well TALK ABOUT IT PEOPLE. Is MTV on the "make everybody think is is what LA is REALLY like" tourist committee? (I KNOW they are on the "ignore the fact that Heidi pulled a Face/Off" committee)


Husband watched the whole thing with me, it was sort of our big Monday night thing which (sadly) made us totally forget that Britney Spears was on How I Met Your Mother...

Anyway, the episode was a'ight. What with Lauren and Whitney going to Paris and Lauren hooking up with the Frenchiest Frenchman who ever Frenched a French ("I have zee dirty hair, and zee Franch accent, Low-ren. Would you like me to take you to zee Eiffel Tou-er and we can drink champan-ya and I will wear, zee, how do you say it, tight pants. Is zat what you like Low-ren?) and then of course Heidi and Spencer fighting around in Colorado and Heidi having a whole new face. Oh and Audrina, who called once and said something about Brody having a girlfriend or something.

Yeah, we watch this crap. And then we spend the rest of the night wondering why we watched it and then we plan to watch next week to find out if anything happens.

And then nothing happens.

This is the black hole of television right here...

Husband seemed to sum it up best when the show was finally over "Aside from some bad plastic surgery, they seem to be just the kids they were last season."

And we watched last season didn't we...