Episode 132: The Wish List
Again, oddly fitting, because this episode ends on that weekend in May.And this episode is all about finances and growing up. The part where I have to let go of the old life and move in to the new. The part where I remember the list of things I wanted (ahem: 1. To live in San Diego; 2. To have a job that I love 3. To get rid of my debt) and think about how all of those things came true... just not in the way I had anticipated.
And then the part where I think that San Diego has rejected me:
San Diego is like that guy I dated who I think of fondly. He was a nice guy, he made me laugh and hey in another universe (or in another 10 years if we'd managed to keep it together) we would have lived happily ever after... but, the way the path winds I guess. And here San Diego is trying to tell me it's not the right time and here I'm trying to force it into loving me and making a lifetime committment. And now San Diego will retreat to it's friends house where they will tell their next date how they once went out with this PSYCHO who just couldn't get the clue.
And finally the part where I feel like I failed, that if I just would have tried harder, that I'm giving up... failure...
Was talking with Lo over email today and she gave me this gem (Lo is good like that).
That being said, I don’t think you failed. You had a goal of living in San Diego, but you never specified for how long- so technically you accomplished your goal. Additionally, when faced with a problem- how’d you put it?- “obvious that this is not the right situation for our family”, you took the bull by the horns and you fixed it. Which shows me that you indeed have a job that you love and a job that you are VERY good at- being a wife and a mother. It’s not a small thing. And, of course, this move will not only make it a better situation for your family, but it’ll enable you to be OK (supported) while doing the whole bankruptcy thing to pay off your debt. Goals accomplished.
End of episode.
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