The beginning of the end: or the beginning of the letter to my parents regarding possible bankruptcy pursuit (yay!!!)

I spend all day at my office writing professional correspondence to people telling them things that they don’t want to hear:

Dear Ms. So and So:

Our office has received and reviewed your file regarding XYZ and has decided to deny such claim of XYZ as per our client's request. However, we would be willing to enter in to settlement negotiations, blah, blah blah... accept that we will offer you much less money then you probably deserve and then call it a day.

I thank you for your prompt attention to this matter and look forward to working with you to bring this claim to final claim closure.

Very Truly Yours,

Offices of Good Lawyers with a lot more money then I currently have.

I could write one of those letters while driving in my car if I really wanted to I’ve gotten so good at telling people (in a professional way) NO!

Why is it so hard then to write a letter to my parents RE: my possible bankruptcy? Probably because it is an admission of complete and total failure on my part to be a person who lives in this world (the San Diego one) and not be crushed under the weight of her own debt. Probably because they want to believe that I am financially responsible or I want to believe that I am financially responsible and so does the lady that called me yesterday from the Credit Card Company but unfortunately I just can’t do it…

Maybe I move home for a year or two and get out of financial irresponsibility but I once told Husband about the option of moving home to live with my parents and I was told that we would probably “never leave” if we did.

This is not a big fear because never leaving wouldn’t be the end of the world, however, at the time I was so looking forward to getting back to San Diego and my idea of a life, you know, going out places and seeing things, culture museums and fun that the actual idea of putting San Diego off for two probably three years was going to make my head explode.

I always figured that we would move closer to my parents as baby got older and I got richer so that we could leave our small town a lot for “the real world.”

I love my parents a lot and they do a lot for me as such I am working on a letter, an actual snail mail letter, that is going to explain to them my financial situation and my options. Least of which, we decided yesterday, was to file an actual bankruptcy. I told Husband we “better like where we live right now” because we’ll never get a place rented to us again.

Part of me isn’t ready to give up, part of me wants to fight it to the death and figure out a way to live here with the money that I am making and still afford life… but unfortunately I have looked at the budget several different ways and times and there is just no way...

Anyway...

Dear Mom and Dad:

I have been trying to speak to you about this on the phone for quite some time now but have been unable to do it due to my inability to figure out how I am going to tell you this without completely breaking down and having some kind of blubbering mental fit on the phone. Instead I’ve decided to write you a letter.

This letter is in regards to my possible bankruptcy filing. I have been going over the numbers of my life and with Husband (insert name here) having so much less work in this area we have been unable to meet the bills that are necessary to keep up with what we need for payments. I have mulled over getting a part time job to make up the difference and finding some telecommuting work. In fact I’m still looking at both options but the more I look at the budget the more I realize, I do make a enough money to live here in San Diego, but I do not make enough money to live here in San Diego and pay for my credit card debt. This is not any one’s fault but my own. It has just been slightly more difficult to get back to work than I anticipated and now after I look at an extensive budget of my monthly expenses versus what I’m going to have to pay for said credit card debt it has become incredibly clear and obvious that I will always come up short.

I have spoken at length with Husband (insert name here) regarding this issue and it looks like the one of the more feasible options of continuing in our current state is for me to declare bankruptcy.

By no means is this set in stone, we are still looking at several other options. The first being a possibility that Husband would come to Small Town (insert name here) and work with Uncle (insert name here) to get closer to his commercial license. He doesn’t love that idea, but might be willing to do it. It would have to be a pretty crazy situation of him being up there three weeks out of the month and down here one week out of the month but in the end would earn us more money.

At this point it looks like I’m going to be scheduling an appointment with a credit counselor/ bankruptcy counselor just to see what my options are and what steps are necessary to take care of this issue. I will have to do the best that I can on paying the bills that I can with some bills not being paid on time.

This sucks. There I said it. And I'm sorry that I have to send you this letter instead of talking to you about it on the phone, but thems the breaks. I am trying to get a handle on my financial situation and am hoping for any love and support you can give me along the way.

Sincerely, very truly yours, late-

-Daughter, financially retarded daughter... but still daughter.