Rules: Of the listed choices you must label them, did they happen to me at my OLD job in unnamed bureau-crazy agency? Or are they a part of my current job, SAN DIEGO SANE?
Here's an example: I get brought into my bosses office and told that the down to my knees sweater with the high collar and hood that covers everything God gave me is a little too revealing as when I stand on my tiptoes, twist to the right and reach both my arms over my head you can see in between one part of the buttons and glimpse a very tiny sliver of my flesh colored camisole I am wearing underneath. Something to be aware of, if you could remedy that, thank you. BUREAU-CRAZY or SAN DIEGO SANE?!!
Answer: That would be Bureau-crazy, Chuck. And... a true story.
And now you know how to play...
Let's start this round: Bureau-crazy or San Diego Sane:
1. When I come into the office in the morning my boss is no where in sight because he doesn't come in until 9:30 considering he's probably got better things to do then sit in his office in the morning and wait to see who comes in at what time and how late they are/ aren't.
2. When I come into the office in the morning my boss is sitting in his office, door open, perched behind his desk, glaring over his glasses, pursing his lips and making note of exactly what time I have walked through the door and also how long I spend putting things into the refrigerator, getting a glass of water and/or putting my hair into a pony tail.
3. Upon hearing that I am sick my supervisor tells me to "have a good day at the beach" and "get back sometime soon cause we're having cake tomorrow."
4. Upon hearing that I am sick my supervisor neglects to tell my other supervisor who neglects to figure out I'm sick by the big "She's sick" email going around and therefore writes a terse email all about how he should be kept abreast of exactly where I am, even though he has already requested that I not report to him as a supervisor, just as a wannabe supervisor. So the next time I'm sick I inform my supervisor, wannabe supervisor, receptionist AND person who will be emailing me in case of any emergencies and then proceed to have wannabe supervisor tell me "well, I'm sure you'll be back to practically perfect after taking TWO whole days off, right?"
5. Am asked not to speak to the "workers" in such a friendly tone.
6. Am told that I yawn too much in meetings.
7. Am told that the files I keep on my desk because I am working on them shouldn't be on my desk because it looks suspicious like I'm trying to go through them and find something wrong with them and then whistle blow about what's wrong with them. Explain that I actually emailed my supervisor to let her know why I would have the files on my desk before I actually put the files on my desk but they ignore that comment. Am not told this by my supervisor nor my boss but instead by my ex-cousin in law who USED to work in the same place and who they periodically call to gossip about me.
8. Had an IM conversation with my office neighbor that went like this:
Marcus: name of band = The Gays. All songs will be spoken and/or whispered in French.
Me:FIERCE!
Me: The Trannies = all songs will be sang better then they originally were by a guy who
looks a lot better then the original singer
Marcus: as long as that original singer was a woman (a real one).
Marcus: Fierce-alicious ft. Fergie
Me: who might actually be a trannie
Marcus: clearly.
Marcus: Fierce-alicious vs. Posh Spice. because everything is a "vs." these days.... "ft." is
so '05.
Marcus: Trannie-licious vs. Posh Beckam.
Me: Posh likes to say everything is "May-ja" so she can be "May-ja Spice", the artist
formerly known as Posh Spice Beckam-Diddy-Lo
Marcus:"If you wanna be my designer, you gotta be really fierce...aaaaahhhhh tell you
what i want what ah really really want, i wanna...."
Marcus: May-ja tranny vs. Posh Diddy
Me: Hey, you really could name a band of trannies May-Ja Tranny, in fact that's a GREAT
trannie nameyou should stick with it
Marcus: there's a guy in our band named Ben. i like to fuck with him. I'm starting to think
"Benjalina" would be good.
Marcus: The Spice Boys? probably already taken
Me: most likely, cause that's so OBVIOUS unless you did Spice Boyz cause you know, the z
makes it hip and HOOD like that
Marcus: Spice Boys in the Hood
9. Am moved into a new office while I'm out on travel status for three days. Come back and didn't know which office I was in, had to find out when I was sitting in old cubicle and new cubicle occupant says "Oh dear, nobody told you?"
10. And finally: Am having cake today... from a bakery that I would normally not be able to afford to even go to. It has chocolate covered strawberries on it.
Feel free to leave your guesses in the comments section.
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